houstonZrowe | Journal

If it weren’t for my ability to laugh uncontrollably at just about anything, including...

Fri, 20 May 2011 09:24:49 -0600

If it weren’t for my ability to laugh uncontrollably at just about anything, including myself(I’m hilarious to myself,) I’m not sure I’d have made it this far in my life.

Party Pooper

Wed, 15 Dec 2010 03:37:39 -0700

I am supposed to go to a birthday party tomorrow. I haven’t been to one since the 6th grade, so it’s not really even the same thing. I’m extremely nervous, I don’t do well in social situations. I want to go though because the girl is super sweet, and I have wanted to hang out with her since Halloween. I don’t know what to do, I will probably end up forcing myself to go because I’m sure I will have fun, and I need to push myself to be a more social person. Plus I would be going with like my best friend so I will at least have someone to hang out with. I don’t know, there is a lot going on right now, lots of ups and downs for me emotionally right now. I’m rambling, I haven’t written anything here for a long time. Just hoping this will help me sleep, but I didn’t really get anything out of my system cause it’s hard on a BlackBerry ha ha. It would probably be best for me to just set it down and try to sleep. And I’m rambling again, so goodnight/morning.

Just getting in the shower!! Finally feeling back to normal...

Tue, 02 Nov 2010 23:08:01 -0600

Just getting in the shower!! Finally feeling back to normal after the party I went to Saturday!

My Spur of the moment Halloween costume from last night! Blue...

Mon, 01 Nov 2010 00:08:34 -0600

My Spur of the moment Halloween costume from last night! Blue fairy from Pinocchio, my two friends were Pinocchio and Jiminy Cricket. I had a mask and wand and stuff but I had it off ha ha!

Thinking through the thoughts in my head, a nightly chore.

Mon, 01 Nov 2010 00:03:02 -0600

Thinking through the thoughts in my head, a nightly chore.

Blanket of Laughter

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 18:10:37 -0600

I recently realized that I use laughter to express a large portion of my emotions; sadness, anger, jealousy, confusion, intimidation, and many other uncomfortable emotions. It’s like my security blanket, always there to protect me from possible confrontation. No matter what the occasion I always find a way to laugh it off. I have been doing this for as long as I can remember; all to try and keep the people around me happy, by making them think I am always happy, and not letting them know how they sometimes make me feel.

I realized this obsession with making everyone around me happy has hindered my ability to seek my own happiness, which should be what is most important to me. It is almost impossible for me to express my emotions the way I am actually feeling them inside, all because I don’t want to hurt the other person the same way they are hurting me.

Throughout the day all the incidents pile up, and by the time I get into bed I have a whole list of things that I wish I would have done that day instead of laughing. So I lay in bed for hours and hours thinking about what I should have said or done to possibly steer the situation in a different direction than the end I was bringing it to with my laughter.

I do love to laugh though, and making others laugh is one of my favorite things to do. I just wish I could find a way to stop expressing everything I feel with laughter. I want to be able to have an actual conversation with people when they make me feel a certain way, instead of hiding behind the laughter, and leaving the problems for my personalities to sort through at night.

Anyways, I don’t really know what more to write. I was just really thinking about this last night as I was reliving the day’s events, and manipulating them in my head. Sort of hoping that it would get it out of my mind, they say writing stuff down helps sometimes. This is sort of all over the place but I just wrote what came to me. Didn’t really read back through it. IMA RAMBLER!

-Houston

If you do this same thing or something similar I’d love to hear from you!

We the jury find the defendant.....

Mon, 02 Aug 2010 10:00:00 -0600

Stolen.

Stole this from Billy. :)

RULE 1
You can only say Guilty or Innocent.

RULE 2
You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!
(So people reading this, if you want an explanation.. comment.)

RULE 3
You have to be honest!

Asked someone to marry you?
Innocent.

Kissed one of your Facebook friends?
Guilty.

Danced on a table in a bar?
Innocent.

Ever told a lie?
Guilty.

Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back?
Guilty.

Ever had feelings for your friend’s woman?
Innocent.

Ever kissed someone of the same sex?
Guilty.

Kissed a picture?
Innocent.

Slept in until 5 PM?
Innocent.

Fallen asleep at work/school?
Guilty.

Held a snake?
Guilty.

Been suspended from school?
Innocent.

Worked at a fast food restaurant?
Innocent.

Stolen from a store?
Guilty.

Been fired from a job?
Innocent.

Done something you regret?
Guilty.

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?
Guilty.

Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
Guilty.

Sat on a roof top?
Guilty.

Kissed someone you shouldn’t?
Guilty.

Sang in the shower?
Guilty.

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
Innocent.

Shaved your head?
Innocent.

Slept naked?
Guilty.

Had a boxing membership?
Innocent.

Made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
Innocent.

Been in a band?
Innocent.

Donated Blood?
Innocent.

Eaten alligator meat?
Innocent.

Eaten cheesecake?
Guilty.

Still love someone you shouldn’t?
Guilty.

Have/had a tattoo?
Innocent.

Liked someone, but will never tell who?
Innocent.

Been too honest?
Guilty.

Ruined a surprise?
Guilty.

Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you can’t walk afterwards?
Innocent.

Erased someone in your friends list?
Guilty.

Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if your a guy) or man’s clothes (if your a girl)?
Innocent.

Joined a pageant?
Innocent.

Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said?
Innocent.

Had communication with your ex?
Guilty.

Get totally drunk one night and you have an important exam tomorrow morning?
Innocent.

A total stranger treat you by paying your bus fare?
Innocent.

Get totally angry that you cried so hard?
Guilty.

Stolen somebodies partner?
Innocent.

Made yourself throw up?
Innocent.

Wanted to be someone else?
Guilty.

I think Kate Gosselin is on my train!! Well the old Kate...

Thu, 15 Jul 2010 10:28:04 -0600

I think Kate Gosselin is on my train!! Well the old Kate anyways!

Here is VoiceMail #2 from my mom, apparently my aunt and cousin...

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 13:18:00 -0700

Here is VoiceMail #2 from my mom, apparently my aunt and cousin saw this picture on my Facebook and were ‘concerned’ ha ha!! :)

Click Here for VoiceMail #1

Here is VoiceMail #1 from my mom, apparently my aunt and cousin...

Fri, 26 Feb 2010 13:17:00 -0700

Here is VoiceMail #1 from my mom, apparently my aunt and cousin saw this picture on my Facebook and were ‘concerned’ ha ha!! :)

Click Here for Voicemail #2

Personality Test

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 10:00:00 -0700

The sad thing is I was 100% honest with my answers! I need help ha ha!

Disorder | Rating

Paranoid | Very High

Schizoid | Moderate

Schizotypal | Very High

Antisocial | High

Borderline | Moderate

Histrionic | High

Narcissistic | High

Avoidant Very | High

Dependent | High

Obsessive-Compulsive | High

Take the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv

Slam da bitch to the ground!

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 09:00:00 -0700

During this lovely 4 day weekend there was a day we call ‘Black Friday’ the day after Thanksgiving where there are some incredible sales, and people get up during the first hours of the morning to line up outside of stores, so they can have first pick at these deeply discounted item. Most of these people as you can assume are crazy. Well guess what, I am one of those people. I didn’t go to sleep that night, even though I was super tired, turkey does that to ya, but I knew no sleep at all was better than the two or three hours I would get. So I stayed up, doing who knows what :). Anyways, we were scheduled to leave at 3:00 AM, I was to be at my mom’s at 2:30. I got all dressed in warm clothes cause it was like 28 degrees outside, and I would have frozen to death!

Our destination was Kohl’s, now I am not a big fan of this store, but my mom was wanting to go, she had a huge list of things she wanted. She actually had a map drawn up showing where each one of us was supposed to go, we were ordered to grab as many of the items we were assigned to as possible, and she said we would sort through it all later and she would decide what she wanted.

So we left our house at like 2:45 and arrived at about 3:00, well the store didn’t open their doors until 4, so ya, this meant standing outside in the freezing cold for an hour. It was torture, I was standing there dancing around listening to La Roux, trying to keep warm, continually looking at my phone counting down the minutes. Finally it is getting close, ten minutes to go, we are like 20 people back in line which is pretty good. But all of the sudden people start gathering in front of the store, not in the line, just in front of the store. I know exactly what their plan is, they plan to see the door open and just shove themselves in. Well guess what, I’m not going to wait an hour in the freezing cold, just to watch some idiot get out of their car and walk in before me. So the countdown has stopped, I see the worker come to the door, they slide it open, people from the line begin filing in, and the people off the the side start sneaking in, we all start screaming at them, well I know this is not enough, so I lock my sights on a lady wearing a yellow hoodie, about to sneak in through the crack, I begin screaming like a warrior, and get out of line and run to the front where she is walking in, I put my hands out in front of me and…..BAM……slam her square in the back, she stumbles to the ground, adrenaline is running through my veins as I see her crumble. As she falls I yell “back of the line” then run back of to my spot in line. She doesn’t listen, but I can only hope I kinked here neck or something!! Everyone in my family thought this was amazing, and they couldn’t believe I did that, actually I couldn’t even believe I did it! I have never done that to someone I didn’t know. But I was not about to wait in an hour in the cold and then just watch that happen.

Anyways, it turns out they were so well stocked that they really didn’t run out of any of the items we needed, so we could have slept in and still got the stuff, but it is kind of a rush not sleeping and going into survivor mode all for a little micro fleece blanket!!

That’s my ‘Black Friday’ story! Tell me yours!!

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend!

I was almost murdered...almost!

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 10:11:39 -0700

Good thing is, I slept well, I woke up on my own 45 mins before my alarm! Bad thing is I woke up feeling that there was a bad guy in my house, so I got up, went to my door, which was locked with a stuck between my dresser and my door, I listened through it, then I removed the stick(scared to death), cracked my door, heard something, so I shut it and put the stick back. Then I looked at my phone, I decided I had to get ready, so I got all my stuff, cracked my door, ran to the bathroom slammed the doors, and locked them quickly! I turned on my music for like two second heard something, muted it, then started again, I turned it up all the way so I couldn’t hear anything, then I got down to wash my hair in the tub, but kept looking back to make sure no one had picked the lock and snuck in to kill me, anyways I finished that, and finished getting ready, it is 8:43 now(two mins before I have to leave) I open the door, my brother’s room is right across from the bathroom, his door is slightly cracked so I kick it open to make sure no one is in there. I hear something downstairs, 8:44 I have to go, I get to the edge of the stairs, I see a shadow and hear moving around, I’m like dying now, I feel like I’m gonna throw up. I start thinking of my first and last karate class, hoping that elbow jab I learned will at least give me time to get to my car and make a run for it. I don’t have any weapons upstairs except a mini pocket knife my aunt gave me last time she was here, and the knife is as sharp as a butter knife. I think maybe it’s just a shadow from the tree outside, so I sneak down a few stairs to where I can see the TV’s reflection in our living room, then the tv turns on, I’m like it must be someone I know, a killer wouldn’t do that, sure enough it was my effing brother. But my instincts were right, it was a bad guy. Oh and then he had the nerve to ask me for an effing Pop Tart, I said no! PS: The reason I didn’t continue karate is because it freaking hurts! If I wanted to pay for pain I would pay someone to put me in the hospital so I could at least miss work for a while!